My Injury

In 2017 I was hit by a car as a pedestrian and suffered a mild Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI). At the time of my diagnosis I had no idea what a brain injury was, and I had no idea how painful and complicated my recovery journey would be. I spent the first several years of my recovery wandering aimlessly from doctor to doctor, waiting for someone to tell me what to do and how to heal.  

The severity of my injury really caught me by surprise. I had a hard time using the left side of my body, and I was unable to walk on anything that wasn’t completely flat. I spent countless hours in physical therapy relearnning how to step out to the left, walk up stairs, and navigate unsteady terrain. I NEVER thought I would need to relearn to walk in my 30’s!

I also found myself in a relentless and excruciating migraine cycle. I would experience migraines for 2-3 days straight, then I would get a couple days off, then the migraine cycle would start again. The migraines would then cause nausea that was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I also stopped being able to sleep. So, even though I was completely exhausted all the time, when I would go to bed at night I couldn’t sleep. I was eventually diagnosed with severe insomnia.

My brain could no longer filter out background noise so it was very difficult to leave the house or be around other people. Right after my injury, I couldn’t hold a conversation for more than a couple minutes without getting terrible head pressure. I had a hard time organizing information and became disoriented very easily. My vision was also impacted, I was unable to track movement with my eyes. The list goes on. Overall, I was pretty much incapacitated, and I thought my life was over.

My Recovery

My recovery experience was extremely frustrating, painful, and socially isolating! My injury was completely invisible and the healthcare community was very dismissive of its severity. When I would describe the severity of my symptoms, many healthcare providers would treat me as if I was exaggerating. I struggled to feel heard, and I never really felt like I was being taken seriously.

It was also very challenging to explain my injury to my friends and family. I felt as if they also didn’t really believe or understand me when I told them what was going on. They seemed to think I was being dramatic, or just being difficult. I felt so unbelievably lonely. It would get to the point where I would sleep all day just so I could have enough energy to act “normal” around a friend for an hour or so. I found it was a lot easier to pretend to be “normal” around my friends and family, then having to try to explain why I was struggling.

I spent countless hours in physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, vision therapy, and every other kind of therapy my doctors could think of. I was also prescribed several medications, including nerve block injections, that all had terrible side effects and seemed to make things worse. About a year into my recovery I did a Neuropsychological evaluation that provided a detailed view of the damage in my brain, and that is when I got the, “get used to your new normal”, speech that so many TBI survivors receive from their healthcare providers.

My Moment of Clarity

That “new normal” speech was a pivotal moment in my recovery. Within that speech I was told to stop working on my masters degree (that I was half way done with at the time of my accident), because I would never be successful in finishing it. I was basically told that my TBI meant that I could never be successful in this world, and that I should just settle for what I can get.

It was in that moment that I felt this overwhelming need to scream! All I could think was, “HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT MY POTENTIAL IS! NOBODY CAN TELL ME WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF!”. I walked out of that appointment with a new sense of fight! I had suddenly tapped into this feeling in my gut that was telling me that life wasn’t over for me. I could still live the life I wanted, I am just going to have to take charge and go out and get it.

So that is what I did! I started to get really serious about researching other treatment options for TBI. I found that there were so many options out there that my doctors had never mentioned. I also started working on my mindset and mental/emotional approach to my recovery. I realized that I needed to stop waiting for my symptoms to magically go away before I started living my life again. I needed to learn how to live a great and happy life even with my symptoms.

I ended up finding a Naturopathic doctor that actually listened to me and took me seriously. I have been working with her for several years now and have made a wonderful amount of progress in my recovery. I did finally complete my masters degree post TBI. I am proud to say that not only did I complete my degree, but I graduated with honors, and was awarded the Distinguished Scholar Award for having the highest GPA in my class! I am really glad I did not listen to that doctor!

I decided to not settle for the new normal, and I ended up finding the wonderful life that I know I deserve. I am now a small business owner, yoga teacher, and reiki practitioner. The bottom line is that it is possible to live the life I wanted with my TBI, I just had to put in the work to get there. This is a success that I hope to share with the TBI community, and I hope to help other survivors live the empowered and fulfilling life they deserve.